Finding the kind of work and a job you love is often a bit of a journey. It can be a process of learning about yourself and the world of work before you land on something that feels in alignment with you. Along the way, many of us end up in a few jobs that for various reasons are a mis-fit.
Some might find themselves starting a new job, and within the first months, weeks, or even hours, quickly realize this just isn’t the job for them. If this is you, naturally, this can be a stressful time. You may find yourself wondering, “Can I leave already?” as your heart and soul want you to get away from this job. But then some of the advice you hear or thoughts you have give you pause. You may have thoughts around not wanting to look bad to a potential new employer or burn a bridge with your current one. You may feel that if you leave you’ll be 'throwing away' opportunities or not using the chance to 'leverage' this job, or that you will have 'wasted' your time etc. These are just a few of the things that could run through your mind and create a lot of fear, anxiety and inner conflict.
What I can share is that I've navigated these waters myself. And I discovered, many of these thoughts tend to be well-meaning, but narrow-minded, not fully reasoned and fear-based. They mostly help us box ourselves needlessly into a corner where we feel trapped and stuck. Instead, you want to navigate your career from perspectives that help you see possibilities, feel open to change and empower you to put your needs, desires and happiness first. And by doing that, there's generally a much higher chance you'll succeed - not only in your career, but in creating the fulfilling life you want.
Whether you decide to stay or leave a job is entirely up to you. But here are a few things to consider that helped me that may also help you in your next steps forward.
1. Consider the opportunity cost of "sticking it out"
You may feel that you should stay in this job (especially if it’s a “good job” you worked hard to get) so you can put it on your resume and “leverage” it to open doors and opportunities down the road. Or you may feel that leaving this job now would be “throwing away” an opportunity.
This job may hold value to you, but I would also urge you compare its value to the opportunity cost of staying in the job. The opportunity cost is what you’d be giving up - the personal and professional price you might pay for staying.
First, your time and enjoyment of your life is valuable. To stay in this job for 2 years (or however long you stay) feeling unhappy can be a big price to pay. And when we’re not happy at work all other areas of our life can suffer - so we may also pay a price in damaging our relationships or physical and mental health. Staying has the potential to derail our fulfillment of other life goals outside of work. One time I tried to stay in a job that wasn’t a good fit and developed depression, anxiety, gained weight and lost a close friend. Suffice to say, I regret not leaving sooner.
A second opportunity cost is losing time that you could be spending succeeding in a different job that’s a better fit. It’s hard to do our best work and show what we’re capable of when we don’t like our job. So getting that glowing reference to really leverage this job down the road might not even happen. Also, unless you really know for sure that doing this job (and at this particular employer) will help you in your next endeavor, it might not be worth it. You could instead be spending this time getting direct experience in what you really want to do or getting requisite experience from an employer that’s a better fit for you.
2. You could just explain yourself to a potential new employer
Some motivation to stay in your current job may come from fear of what you would tell a potential new employer. The more typical thing is to stay in a job for awhile before looking for a new one, so to leave now would be going a bit ‘off script’ and that makes you nervous. “How would I explain myself in an interview?” you might be thinking. The risk is looking like you don’t know what you want and an employer being hesitant to hire you as they think you might also leave them shortly after starting.
But, if you have a well articulated, reasoned and genuine explanation for why your current situation is not a good fit, how you now know what you are looking for and have good reason to believe you will do much better at their company, this could go far to put their concerns to rest and make you a strong candidate. Remember, interviewers are just people - they will likely get that life is not a straight line and if you explain yourself there’s a strong chance they’ll understand.
3. Examine your fear of burning a bridge
You may be afraid of burning a bridge with your current employer if you left now. They put in resources to hire you and they may feel misled. But, reflect on whether keeping that bridge intact is reason enough to stay in a job you don’t want to be in. Revisit those opportunity costs mentioned in 1. Also, if your leaving does burn this bridge (which is not necessarily a given as they may actually have an understanding response), think of how big the world is and how many other job opportunities there will be for you. Your entire future and potential success will likely not be determined by this one upset with one employer.
4. Don't generalize to all jobs in the industry. Maybe try another.
You can do the same job in a lot of different companies/organizations with very different cultures, management styles, types of clients, environments etc. It could be your dissatisfaction with your current job is not due to the work itself, but due to these contextual factors. For example, perhaps you just don’t get along well with your manager or immediate team. Just because this one job in this one context isn't for you doesn't necessarily mean you need to change careers and can't still do the work you want to do. Reflect on what conditions you would thrive in, seek out opportunities that align with them, and maybe try again.
5. It's ok to change career directions. You didn't "waste" your time.
Maybe you put in a lot of time getting this job. Maybe it's what you went to school for and now you're thinking if you do something else and change careers all that effort will have been for nothing. Please don't let this line of thinking keep you in a career you hate. Like I mentioned, staying in a job that makes you unhappy is a pretty big price to pay just so you can feel your efforts to date have been “worth it.” Ask yourself, “Is it really worth it when my happiness, relationships, health and even potential for having a successful career is on the line?”
Also, I don’t believe anything you do is really a “waste.” To change direction and think what you went to school for or got experience in to date will be for nothing is pretty narrow thinking. We learn from all of our experiences and it makes us unique and skilled in many ways we can apply to whatever we want to be doing. I have degrees and experience in stuff I will never "use" but in reality I use every day. And many highly successful people had careers in “unrelated” fields before doing what they’re doing now.
6. This is not uncommon
Remind yourself that this kind of thing happens to many people every day. It’s not uncommon to start a job and realize you don’t like it. There’s nothing wrong with you. Don’t beat yourself up for finding yourself in this situation. Have self-compassion. You’re learning about yourself and what you like.
It’s also not as uncommon as you may think to leave a job shortly after starting. A lot of people leave jobs after a short period of time. They might not shout it from the rooftops so you may feel like you're the only one, but it happens more than you think. I know this might feel like a really big deal right now, but in just a few years it will likely be something you look back on and see as a small hiccup in your larger career journey. And you may even thank your present-day self for taking the steps to find work you enjoy and succeed in.
