One-on-One Career Clarity Coaching
Hello dear ones. This work we would do together is very intimate. So instead of a traditional sales page where I talk in bullet points I thought perhaps the best way to share about my coaching is to tell you a deeply personal story. If it resonates with you and you’re still reading by the end there’s a good chance we’re a good fit to work together. Here it goes:
There’s a personal development exercise aimed at helping people find what job or career they would like. It asks, “What were you obsessed with as a child? What were you always doing and thinking about?” The idea is that someone will say they were in love with building blocks. And perhaps that’s a clue that they should be an architect or real estate developer etc.
For me, my answer to this question of what I was obsessed with as a child is not so straight forward. I was obsessed with looking for the door. Not literally. I mean I was looking for the way out of my life, how I could get to somewhere else that didn’t feel so suffocating. To a place where I was free to be myself; to just be. I felt trapped in my life at age 4 the way a 40 year old will sit on a therapist's couch and claim they feel trapped. As a child what I was obsessed with was freedom.
As small children we are perfect. Just fine going through the world happy, fulfilled, and content with ourselves. And those around us allow us to be, simply be. But this only lasts a few years. Then comes a tremendous amount of instruction from parents, caregivers, teachers and society - “Be this way, not that way. This is right, that is wrong.” Some of it, of course, is necessary socialization, but the message you get is that you aren’t ok just as you are and must change. All those authentic, pure movements inside you are now made into a problem, something to be managed and controlled. And this is where we learn that it’s not safe to be our authentic selves. That what is arising in us needs to be evaluated and overridden to fit what is expected, required, forced upon us.
Of course, I didn’t consciously know this is what was happening as a 4 year old. All I knew is that this place, the world, felt terrible for me. I didn’t feel I could be myself. And everyone else seemed to be ok from the outside so I thought there must be something wrong with me. This feeling, this painful awareness that there is something wrong here - either with me or the world (and it couldn’t be the world I thought) continued for most of my life. And I was obsessed with finding my way out. Finding the door to get out of this crazy place.
When I was still in the single digits, I learned about something I thought was the door; suicide. It was my out. I thought about it all the time, every night going to bed I’d fantasize about dying in my sleep and not having to wake up and go through another day. And when things happened during the day that felt like another ‘No’ to who I am, like a dagger in my tiny body, I’d think about dying. It was a way to comfort myself. I would tell myself, if it got so bad that I just couldn’t go on, I could leave.
The underlying tone of all the messaging I personally took in was, “You need to be perfect. You need to be the best. You need to be successful.” And successful in the traditional sense of being a “somebody” with lots of money, prestige, status etc. So, I pushed myself onward to go to fancy schools, get fancy jobs, forcing myself to do the things required. I was a devotee of all our culture’s beliefs about work. That work involves pain and sacrifice, pushing aside your own priorities and needs, allocating your energy in ways that deteriorate your health, relationships and soul.
My parents never told me I had to do or be anything, but it was implicit. The same way it’s implicit in our society that people with more money are seen as better than and as having more value than those that have less. The same way we all strive for this unexamined notion of “success” thinking if we’re successful we will be ok, be good enough, be happy etc. We don’t talk about it much, but these toxic beliefs - and many others - are there. And they motivate our life choices. They strike us with fear that we might not stack up, we’ll be unlovable and unsafe, if we don’t strive to be and do and have what we’re supposed to. It’s all not true. But here we are living out our lives as if it is; only leading to disappointment, misery and continued striving for an illusionary future where when we have more success we’ll be ok. And then we develop all kinds of coping mechanisms to deal with the pain, which only brings more suffering. For me this took the form of nearly fatal anorexia.
Living this way, being motivated by these beliefs is unsustainable. And so inevitably there is a breaking point, usually in pop culture called a mid-life crisis (which for me came early at the age of 27). It’s a horrible, painful, messy breaking point. But also, if you take advantage of it and dig deep there’s the invitation for a breakthrough. It’s really a gift.
The catalyst for my breaking point was getting physically sick. Really, really sick with a completely debilitating case of Lyme disease. My body was drawing a line in the sand and no longer going to let my mind trample my soul. In sickness, I was forced to surrender and do the deep inner work. And what emerged was a beautiful offering.
Because I finally found what I was looking for for all those years. I found the door, the way out of the craziness of the world with all its insane ways of being. I found the way to be able to show up here and be myself, my true self. I found the freedom I was looking for.
Here’s the thing; it’s inside of you. It’s in returning to the sweet perfect one you were before all the external conditioning came in. Go back to where you were forced to abandon him/her and see just how perfect you were. How perfect you are right now in this moment. You need no changing. Ask yourself, who would you be without any interference of thought that you should do or be anything other than that which is naturally and effortlessly arising in you? Yes, it’s a radical approach, but actually very sane, very grounded, very intelligent. Let go of who you think you need to be and come into who you are.
It’s a process of coming into awareness of all the thoughts, beliefs and fears that have become “you” as you are today. Awareness is the first step. Then we can examine all that’s going on inside and begin to see what’s really true. You’ll see much of what you’re holding on to you can let go of. And by doing that you’re creating the space for what is authentically you to come through. Find your inner signal in all the noise and let it be your guiding light.
This will take some time. Your signal will be very faint at first. We’ve spent a lifetime denying who we are, how we really feel, our needs and desires. It was never relevant and overridden by arguments of what we “should” do, the “practical,” “safe” or strategically smart thing (perhaps all that logic is coming into question for you now). Before I could find what I wanted to do, what kind of work I love, I had to learn for the first time what desire felt like - what it felt like to do something from a place of pure intrinsic joy, because you want to - not because you should or to get someplace or prove something. Getting in touch with joy - with your true, authentic Yes - is how we find our way.
Over time, the more we clear away all the conditioning, all the scaffolding we’ve built around ourselves and mistaken for our true self, the more clarity we will have. There will be the space for what we genuinely want and our next steps to come through. We’re talking about career navigation, but since we spend so much of our lives in our work, we’re really talking about how we want to spend our time here on the planet. You can spend it in freedom, in fulfillment, in giving it your all to follow your truth and what lights you up. It’s possible for you. Yes, it’s deeply challenging, yes there will be fears and resistance to it, but it is 100% rewarding to take your time to do this work.
In a way, I did commit suicide and die. I died without having to kill the physical form. Freedom in being you is found after you dissolve down the false identity you’ve created in the name of survival and held up for so long. That’s why you’re exhausted. Holding up an inauthentic self is so much effort. Simply being you is effortless. For all those years I wanted to die because I so desperately just wanted to exist. To have the freedom to be. Having to be “somebody,” try to get somewhere in my life, create certain “successful” circumstances to feel safe was the source of all the pain. The good news is it’s all not necessary.
My story is in a way everyone’s story. There comes a time when we each will need to go through the process of finding our authentic self, of awakening to what’s really true. And what’s true is that you are safe, good enough and perfect just as you are. Build out your career and your life from this place and you’ll be on solid ground.
They say suffering is a great teacher. That we are only willing to change, to look at what’s really going on and find the courage to change when things get really bad. That was true for me. So maybe you’re there now, maybe you’re not. But if you are, I’d like to share with you what I learned on my own journey with pain, healing and transformation. I’d like to share the things I have learned that have shown me it's ok to be here; this existence can be so much more enjoyable than you think. I’d like to hold your hand and guide you as you walk this path for yourself.
It all makes sense. As a child I was obsessed with freedom. And now I’m here to help you find yours. Let’s do this together. Read on for the details.
So, How Does This All Work?
It's you and me. One on one. Digging deep. Finding clarity.
We’ll speak on the phone for 60-minute sessions. Most people speak with me weekly or every two weeks.
How long will this take? Be gentle with yourself. I know you’re scared and want to have all this figured out. It’s a process and you will have to learn how to surrender to it. You will bit by bit make progress. I just can’t tell you how quickly.
So, that means I can’t tell you how many coaching sessions it will take. But, let’s start with 6 sessions. It will be a good start. For some, this will be enough to get the ball rolling and you may feel comfortable taking things on your own from there. For others, we can continue our work together for as long as you find it serving you.
When we speak I'll listen to exactly what you're saying and use laser-focused questions, discussion and highly effective tools. I'll help you step in to awareness of all that’s going on in your mind, help you see your blind spots, question your logic and help you land in clarity.
You’ll also get to lay out all your fears, take a good look at them and learn how to move through them. Wouldn’t it be great to get a handle on some of those fears you carry around all day?
This is all about you and 100% custom tailored to you and your unique situation. I’m walking you through a process, but I don't have a cookie-cutter program I'm just putting you through. Every person has different needs and I’ll meet you right where you're at.
Ready For Change?
Here’s what to do next:
Click the link below to purchase your first 6 coaching sessions for $1,500 USD.
Once you have paid, you will receive an email within 24hrs with a client agreement and we can schedule your first session. Yay!
My Integrity Refund Policy: If after you've purchased you decide you're not the right fit for this coaching, refunds on remaining paid but unused sessions will be granted. Pretty low-risk. Nice, huh?
Or maybe you're not quite ready to get started?
Have a question? Or just want to connect for a chat first? Of course, I'm happy to chat. We can jump on the phone to discuss. Click below and send me a note. I’m looking forward to it:)