When we work together I'm not offering advice, instruction or telling you what to do. I'm trying to help you tune into you to listen to you...for you to find your own next step or new career direction. That's what my coaching is focused on.
But listening to yourself and what you want is not easy. There are a ton of shoulds, fears and other limiting beliefs that get in the way of not only clarity on the next step you're feeling called to take, but that try to stop you from taking it altogether.
So it's helpful to have a partner, someone who knows the terrain, who can share some powerful tools and help you work through all that's going on inside.
But you have to be willing to do that.
Once you find the courage to admit to yourself it's a No to your current work, keep going. Find the willingness to say Yes to the inner work.
To lean into the discomfort and disorientation. That's part of the process of finding your way.
How do you find that willingness? It's a level of courage, or deep desire for change, or sheer exhaustion with suffering. It all has to get to a place where you say "Yes, ok, I give up trying to fight this and I'm ready." Even just to take some baby steps.
I went through this too. And I fought change for a long time. Big time resistance. My ego, my fears, my unwillingness to look at myself were putting up a big fat wall of NO.
My thoughts were, "No, I need to make this job work. No, I need to make this line of work or general kind of work somehow be Ok for me."
No to acknowledging and owning the truth of how I really felt. It was too inconvenient, too scary, too stressful to confront my truth.
But then there came a point where the status quo became so untenable that my fear of the future unknown became the lesser evil compared to the misery of the present.
So I took the first step and acknowledged my No. But then, I was left with the big questions of "If not this, then what? What am I going to do? What do I even want to do?"
It feels like you're in the dark. The projections of the future you had relied upon for a sense of "I know what's going to happen next," dissolve into question marks.
And now you're feeling your way around in the dark.
But put your hands out and explore.
No need to act on or commit yourself to a new path before you want to, but you can't find what that new path might be if you don't explore.
So, put on a jungle explorer's hat and get out there. We often have blinders on and don't see that the world is vast and full of interesting and wonderful things people are doing. Things at this moment you don't even know exist. My clients will sometimes report to me with a sense of thrill and delight, "I didn't know that was a thing!" And vice versa - sometimes they tell me they want to pursue a career in something I didn't even know existed (and then the thrill and delight is mine!).
Begin to reflect on and look deeply at your interests, see what might be out there for you that allows you to do work that is aligned with them, and what ways you might be able to do it. Ask yourself, "For someone in my position, I wonder what small next step I could take to learn more about this thing I'm interested in?"
Be warned, our mind can jump ahead without letting us lean into the exploration process. It says, "From here I don't know or see how I could do that so I'm not going to look," or it wants to stop you with flawed fear-based assumptions and opinions formed with limited information.
But don't let it. Give yourself permission to explore and see what's really out there. Remember, no need to commit to anything, think of it as a fun personal research project if you like.
And the more you do this, bit by bit, you turn the lights on and illuminate your way.
That's how I found my own way. And years back when I was in despair, there's no way I would have guessed I'd be writing you this email now and providing an offering of support to you as you walk your own journey.
Learn more about Career Change Clarity Coaching here
