For when you’re feeling totally freaked out or going around in circles trying to get what you want.
Changes on the inside make changes on the outside.
This applies to most of life — career, relationships, health, your golf game. But, I’m a career coach so making changes in your work is what I’m talking about here.
I’ve often heard people say something along the lines of “if you want different things for your life, you’re going to have to do different things.” This is true.
But I’ve found what happens when you try to change your situation (like maybe your job or field of work) by jumping straight into trying new actions/behaviors two things might happen.
1. A lot of fear
While you’re trying that new thing, taking new actions in the world, you’ve had to psych yourself up to do it. It feels scary, you’re anxious and your nervous system is begging you to stop. It feels like you’re forcing yourself and trying to override your emotions. Not fun.
2. Nothing really changes
You actually, after a while (say after a few weeks/months at the new gig), find yourself feeling the same way as you always have. And so while things may look different on the outside, you feel the same inside. Bummer.
These things can happen because you didn’t do anything to change what’s going on for you on the inside. You just took action on the outside.
It’s obvious. But not obvious at the same time.
So what’s a better approach? Start on the inside.
Look at what’s going on for you in your mind and body.
This will help to bring clarity.
1. Clarity on your fears and all those crazy emotions
It’s scary and nerve-wracking to do these new things because you’re pushing up against and it’s triggering all that stuff inside. If you take a look at it, and do a little inquiry into where it’s coming from a lot of the fear and anxiety could fall away. And if you still feel the fear, you’ll have more clarity on where it’s coming from and how to handle it. Your nervous system will thank you.
2. Clarity around what you’re creating (and why it’s often the same stuff)
A lot of what’s going on on the outside can be a reflection of what’s going on on the inside. So until you look there you can be fighting a losing battle. You feel the same because often just trying a new thing is a management strategy that doesn’t touch the underlying reason you experience the world the way you do, which is that you approach the world with a certain set of beliefs and ways of being. And this gets reflected back to you and can follow you around. Doing a little inner inquiry and creating awareness of what’s going on can shift these beliefs and ways of being and create something new on the inside. And then the change you want on the outside can follow — maybe even to something better than what you thought you wanted in the first place, something more in alignment with you. Now you may have more clarity on what that is.
If you’re finding yourself pushing up against fear and super stressed or find yourself in different situations, but actually kinda the same situation, try looking inside. I know that can be a scary idea in itself, but so worth it if it gets you where you want to go. And if you get to feel a lot better along the way. Yes?