Don't Believe Everything You Think


I wrote a little something and thought I'd share it with you. Because it's pretty cool and if you really apply it and become aware of how you might be doing this it can really help to make some big shifts inside. And you'll feel better about things. Who doesn't want that? 

It's about one of the things I help my coaching clients to do - identify and take a good look at their thoughts. Because, the thing is, our minds are master storytellers and can sometimes (or a lot of the time actually) have us believe things that are simply not true. They may feel true, but when we get down and dirty and look at it up close it doesn't hold up. It's just not true. 

It goes like this. Some event happens to make us feel pain. But some of that pain might be self-inflicted. One way we can do this and create additional pain for ourselves is through what we make the event mean.

What does this have to do with our career? Well, did you get a bad review? Failed to get the promotion or bonus you wanted? Boss/client upset with you? Things just not working out the way you thought it would? That can all be painful, yes, and I'm not arguing with that. But, maybe take a look at what you might be making these events mean about you.

Perhaps you are making them mean things about your worth, capabilities, chance of success or ever getting what you want, or you're thinking they mean there must be something wrong with you, you're not as good as XYZ, you need to be different than who you are etc. And those thoughts are all very painful. Maybe even more painful than the original event that triggered them.

But, they're just thoughts. Just because you think them doesn't mean that they're true. So, I'd encourage you to get quiet and ask yourself, "Is it really true?" For example, "Is it really true that because this job isn't working out for me I'll never find what I want or be successful?" Or is it really true that, "There is something wrong with me because "everyone else" can do this particular job, but I can't?" Whatever the thought is for you, lay it out. Maybe even write it down to help look at it more objectively.

By laying out the full thoughts like this and taking a good look I think you'll see that they're not really true. Our minds can make up some crazy stuff. And the thoughts can be very captivating. We can easily get caught up in believing them and feeling the pain that causes. But, all that's required to start undoing the pain is awareness. Awareness of the thoughts and when you're believing them. 

In my coaching, I help clients do this. We unearth the thoughts an event is triggering - and maybe even where the thought is coming from in the first place. Then we approach them from all angles until we can break free. Break free in our mind and body from thinking the thoughts are true and feeling their grip.

I am indebted to Byron Katie and Martha Beck  - the women who first introduced me to these ideas. They have sometimes used a phrase I love the visual of - thought dissolving

Cool, huh? Wouldn't that feel amazing to be able to let go of some of these painful thoughts? Who would you be if you didn't have these thoughts? You’d think and feel about things differently. Perspective is everything.

And even more, what would you be able to do in your career without these thoughts? You'd be unstoppable. 

"Don't believe everything you think" is a quote by Allan Lokos

"Don't believe everything you think" is a quote by Allan Lokos